Some of us may find it hard to admit that our lives aren’t picture-perfect this time of year. And yet we know that merely going through the motions of the Christmas season will not allow us to forget our unmet longings and desires, heal our wounds, or ease our heartaches. In fact, I find that using busyness to try to mask longings, wounds, and heartaches actually accentuates them and leaves me feeling alone…during a season that we’re told is all about togetherness.
A Christmas card’s reminder.
Friends gave me a Christmas card with this challenging bit of prose:
Often in the stillness, we pause to hear His voice, and in sharing that sweet moment we find reasons to rejoice!
This being communion Sunday at my church was timely. As the bread and juice were being distributed, we had several minutes to be quiet. I usually feel compelled to fill that time with silent confession of sins both remembered and forgotten, as well as reaffirming all the tenants of faith I can think of. (My misguided attempt to feel “fit” enough to take communion!)
This time, however, I felt the need (or perhaps the freedom) to be truly quiet and still in my heart and spirit. God took advantage of that quietness to speak two words: “Not alone“.
“Not Alone“: Our God-Given Identity
“Not alone”. What healing words of comfort for that part of our human spirit that no other person has the ability to touch! What reassurance when brought face to face with the failures and imperfections that try to mark us daily. What peace comes from the unshakable truth that Jesus became “Emmanuel, God with us” so that we would never be alone. Never forsaken. Never betrayed. Never condemned. This is reason to rejoice, even if we do have heavy hearts over circumstances or situations.
Although these following verses are very familiar, they are worthy of careful consideration during this Christmas week:
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. Whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. (John 3: 16-18)
A Challenge for this Christmas Week
Will we allow the gift of “God with us” to touch our longings, our wounds, our heartaches? Will we share quiet moments with our Heavenly Father? Will we whisper back to Him “Not alone, Emmanuel“?
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It’s all I can do just to get thru this holiday. With the rejection and betrayal of the last 4 years from my family, who by the way were also my friends, I’ve discovered that while in your most needful, desperate hour, those whom you thought loved and supported you will more then likely be the first that run away when storms strike. I found this to be utterly shocking and true when diagnosed with cancer. When a storm passes thru it usually leaves a mark it’s been there. The same is true when a person is experiencing something, good or bad, that changes you in some way. I feel in my family, I am the only one changing. From a world I once desired, to a world I despise, the most difficult part about Christmas is staying focused on the reason for the season. Constantly, In a tug of war with my loneliness, thoughts, emotions and desires for belonging to someone (a family) and to enjoy the festivities of the season, I wonder what it is God is trying to get over to me. I desire all the traditions that are familiar to me that I don’t enjoy right now but in addition to that, I am trying to remember that the treasures I have aren’t the treasures the world sees or accepts. And those treasures, of course, are our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It’s just very difficult, for me anyway, to iron out in my heart that I’m truly blessed, even without a tree with presents underneath it or someone to throw your arms around, to feel them sink into you. And what’s harder is someone who’s never experienced one lonely Christmas ever in their lifetime, to pop off and say…Well, you know Maryjo, it’s not about the presents under the tree. This comment is coming from a Sister who is very well to do and goes all and all out for the season, believes in Jesus but whom I’ve not seen or heard from in over a year. My family can be compared to a Hotel…they check in every once in a while, but hurriedly check out when crisis hits. Mark, thank you for your w.o.e. they have really spoken to my heart as I sit here in front of this blazing fire, still alone again for the fourth year in a row at my most treasured time of the year….
Maryjo
Thank you for writing so honestly. I’m sorry, truly sorry, that Christmas holds such deep pain for you.
I’m not saying these words tritely; I hope and pray that as you move through this season, you will experience something of God’s comfort that you will eventually be able to look back on with astonishment and delight.
Your words “the treasures I have aren’t the treasures the world sees or accepts” are powerful words of wisdom. Your choice to fight to hold to that truth in the middle of your pain is courageous and challenging.
You have touched me with your openness. Thank you.
Mark