My Response to Your Descriptive Term for Homosexuals

(Mr. Jones’ name has been changed.)

I have received your email and the accompanying attachment that you encouraged me to copy and distribute. I need to let you know that I will not be doing so.

As I read your writing I sensed ridicule and disgust for those you disagree with. Just as you, I am opposed to the homosexual lifestyle. But I am also opposed to using Christianity as an excuse to ridicule others. Your use of the word ‘homo’ implies a derogatory attitude against those impacted by homosexual attractions.

Since I listened to your testimony when you called me, please listen to a bit of mine. My testimony is one shared by many you might label as ‘homo’s’.

I grew up attending a conservative church and living in a partially Christian home. I asked Christ into my heart as a young child. I grew up attracted to men. I was addicted to homosexual pornography for years. I still fight inappropriate same-sex attractions.

I was a teenager during the 80’s as the AIDS crisis exploded. Christian papers and magazines were filled with articles damning homosexuality, but not expressing God’s love towards those experiencing same-sex attractions. I wanted a relationship with Christ, but I was hearing that my unspeakable secret condemned me.

But Mr Jones, thankfully someone entered my life who did not treat me with contempt or condemnation. He saw me and understood everything about my secret battle. He made it clear that he did not in any way endorse homosexuality, but he never ridiculed me for having homosexual attractions. He never called me queer, gay, or fag like some did. He never uttered your word, “homo.”

Rather, he wrote a few words of encouragement and repeatedly whispered them to me….

Mark, I want you to never question this, I’m the one who planned your life, and I call my plans “good”. I have committed myself to faithfully continue my good work in you until the moment you stand face to face with my Son, Jesus Christ, and with me. (Philippians 1:6, paraphrased)

Many nights I lay on my back staring at the dark ceiling, overwhelmed and in shock at the enormity of the struggle raging in my life. And each time he whispered those words to me. EACH TIME!

Had it not been for his staying close, I might have given up and embraced homosexuality. Or I might have given in to a worse despair. Had he called me “homo”, I’m sure I would have turned away from him.

Mr Jones, would you compare your words to these words that God spoke to me? Which words speak hatred and death; whose words express love and life?

I am near tears as I write to you. I am moved with the memory of how tenderly God has loved me through my struggles. I wonder if you have ever allowed yourself to accept that tenderness in your own battles?

I hurt as I consider the young man or woman, battling as I have, reading your words. Will they accept the lie; believing that your message of disdain is a reflection of God’s heart? Will they be tempted to turn away from God? Will some give in to that temptation?

Mr Jones, I want to be angry at you. But instead I am feeling compassion towards you. I don’t believe your intent is to cause harm. But I believe you are trapped in a battle causing you to miss the heartbeat of God for those he loves. You and I both battle; our battles appear very different. But our battles are both conquered by God’s love; by his promise that he whispers to both of us,

Being confident of this; that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6)