When God says “No. Stop. Relax.”

Long ago I resolved to live without needing help, vowed to figure things out on my own. It’s a terrible and common vow to orphaned men who found ourselves alone as boys and decided that there really is no one there, that men are especially unreliable, so do it yourself. – John Eldredge in Fathered by God

Do you freely enjoy the acceptance, love and help that others, and God, offer? Or do you believe it’s up to you to earn anything good that comes your way?

Three Simple & Deadly Words

(Photo Credit)

For most of my life, I have allowed a performance-based mentality to threaten me.

“Mark, don’t ask for help. Real men figure these things out.” 
“Mark, if anyone really knew you, they wouldn’t accept you.” 
“Mark, if you speak up, you’ll be despised and may lose everything and everyone.”

Listening to this voice has had some humorous results. Like the time in my early teens when my face looked like I had the plague. (I was trying to teach myself to shave in the days before YouTube how-to videos!)

There’s also a sobering side to this mind-set. Tremendous energy is required to maintain a lifestyle that feels pressure to “pay” for nearly every act of love, kindness and grace that is offered.

Everything the performance mentality speaks can be boiled down to three simple and deadly words. “You are alone.”

Shortly after writing “When God answers ‘Because I love you’“, I was hanging out with my friend Troy. He was talking with deep joy about his salvation. Troy began his walk with Christ as an adult. His salvation experience was dramatic. He clearly remembers the misery of living without assured hope of eternal life.

I, on the other hand, asked Jesus into my heart as a young boy. I’ve often taken my choice for granted and failed to appreciate that miracle of my own salvation. I’ve failed to appreciate God’s work of grace that helped a little boy who was completely dead spiritually to accept God’s gift of life.

The Voice of Authority 

As I listened to Troy, I began to view my own experience with God’s grace from a fresh perspective. But then my performance mentality kicked into high gear:

“Mark, get this right. It’s up to you to understand these aspects of God’s grace that you’ve overlooked, forgotten and taken for granted.”

This time, my voice of performance was immediately checked by the opposing Voice of Authority. God had three words of His own!

NO.
I’m bringing you into a deeper knowledge of My grace. My love. My acceptance.
STOP.
Stop trying to experience My grace on your own.
RELAX.
Let this be up to Me.

The pressure to trust myself to learn more of God’s grace subsided and my body relaxed. For what felt like the first time, I understood that God’s love includes His freely leading me into deeper relationship with Him. It’s His pleasure and joy to do so. It’s not for me to earn.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.                                                           (Matthew 11: 28-30, The Message)

That means I’m not alone.

I can ask for help.

I am known.

I have a voice and can speak up.

(This post is linked up at WFMW.)