Our worship team was leading worship for a men’s retreat. As I walked across the conference grounds, I was entranced by the beauty and the peace of the surroundings.
Trees were coming out into leaf, bushes and wildflowers were beginning to blossom, birds were singing, and the air was clear. The background hum of other conference attendees talking and enjoying each other added to the scene of serenity.
An inner longing to not be alone, to have someone who I could take by the hand and share the beauty of the evening with, came rushing from some deep place in my soul.
Lately I’ve practiced giving my heart permission to explore when those moments of longing occur, rather than bury or deny them. So as I walked across the conference grounds, I began to describe my longing to Jesus. (Quietly, because I didn’t want someone to report that the keyboard player was wandering around talking to himself!!!) Telling Jesus my desire made me wish that he was physically present to provide himself as my companion that evening. And that’s when my conversation with him took …
A really scandalous turn!!!
Jesus, if you were actually physically present right now, would you slip your arm around my shoulders?
Would you be upset if I tackled you? Just for fun? Jesus, is it possible you might tackle me first? Would you have fun wrestling with me?
Jesus, will I get to hug you in heaven?
My Proper Religious Side countered my thoughts by saying that such thinking is a slap in the face of God’s Holiness. Isn’t it irreverent and disrespectful to think about the Holy God of heaven lowering Himself to be so intimate and personal?
Wait just a minute.
It must have been the Holy Spirit who interrupted my Proper Religious Thinking with this thought. What could have been more personal, intimate, and scandalous than the Beloved of heaven lowering himself to show up at humanity’s prison cell and addressing the jailer,
“I’m here to pay the price for all their crimes. Yes, they are guilty and yes, many of them will chose to stay in prison rather than accept what I’m about to do, but I’m doing it anyway. My Father loves them. I love them. We’ve chosen them so they can choose us.”
Wasn’t his choice to so love truly scandalous? Considering his decision, can he find my desire to touch him and be touched by him offensive? I don’t think so. Rather, I believe he sees my anticipation of his pure touch in eternity as part of my worship.
And if that holy touch includes him and I playfully wrestling… AWESOME!!!
Which brings us back to something essential for loving Jesus, for making your faith more like a love affair—you are going to have to break with the religious. If you want Jesus, you’re going to have to end the relationship with the religious glaze.
-John Eldredge in Beautiful Outlaw
“But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” (Luke 18: 16-17)
I love this. I had a similar experience recently when I was sitting with Him, asking what He wanted to say to me? It was silent, and then He said, “Sometimes lovers just gaze into each other’s eyes.” Wow. He wants THAT kind of a relationship?! Amazing.
You are so right. Have you ever read “Beautiful Outlaw” by John Eldredge? He writes so freely about the contrast between the Jesus we think we know, and Jesus of scripture.