Wow, sometimes life plants a solid kick right in the middle of the stomach! It happens to all of us. The “kicks” may not be that severe, but they hurt. I’ve felt a few kicks recently. Not life shattering ones, for sure. But still painful.
So I’m going to be pretty real with you as I process my thoughts and feelings. I’m not trying to make you feel sorry for me. Honest I’m not!
Kicks
I said “good-by” to a close friend yesterday. He and his family are moving to another state to support his wife’s family. They experienced a tragic loss last year. It is right that my friend and his family make this change. Our friendship will remain. But we won’t be talking and enjoying coffee each week.
A deeply loved cousin passed away last night. Three or four weeks ago she found out that cancer had invaded her entire body. In her seventies, her zest for life exceeded that of many young people. Just in the past couple years she joined a drum circle and drummed on a Florida beach. She also got a small dragon tattoo on her ankle. She is missed.
Then there are private struggles and hurts that make the walls seem to fold in. Unknowns weigh heavily and lead to loneliness. I don’t feel comfortable sharing these with family members and some are not appropriate to lay on others. As I consider my responsibility that created some of these struggles, I experience shame and guilt.
And now as I’m writing, I hear a commotion on the back porch. It’s windy, did the tree fall on the porch? Did the porch collapse? Is someone breaking in shoot me? Should I be calling 911? Do I need to grab a weapon?
Comfort
I’m thankful for today’s daily verse from Biblegateway.com.
You, Lord are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. (Psalm 86:5)
My emotions are still painful. But I am comforted by this reminder that God forgives me for all that causes me shame and guilt. He is good and loves me excessively, even in situations that seem overwhelming in the moment.
Reality
Remembering God’s character, plus being able to share my heart with you, is lifting my load a bit. I’m thankful for that. Don’t forget, this promise of God’s character is for all of us.
Oh yeah, that crash on the back porch? Two tom cats fighting.
No weapon needed.
Wow! Sorry to hear about your cousin. I don’t usually hate but I HATE cancer and Alzheimer’s! I still pray for you everyday my friend but will be a bit more specific right now.
Those are both good things to hate, aren’t they! Thank you and blessing to you today.