Although several years have passed, I still remember my discomfort as I heard these two words. Illustrating his point about attacks against conservative Christian values, the speaker referred to a group with opposing values as…
“those people”
Maybe it was my imagination, but his tone communicated anger. His use of “those people” seemed like a convenient dismissal that avoided the possibility of seeking value in the lives of any who fit into his category.
A similar thing happened as a group of us met for coffee, donuts, and conversation. The response to a legitimate comment about homosexuality ranged from a crude remark and uneasy laughter to overall silence. The conversation quickly turned a safer direction. The appeal of mocking and turning away from uncomfortable subject matter was greater than honestly facing unease with…
“those people”
“Those people” can be anybody. They may be people who simply have a few basic differences that we don’t like or approve. They may be “Ford” to our “Chevy”, or “Stetson” to our “baseball cap”. (Silly illustrations maybe, but you get the point.)
Or, “those people” may have vastly different belief systems that make sharing any core values highly unlikely.
This life provides ample opportunity to know, work, and live alongside those with whom we have strong disagreements. We would be foolish to not take seriously the impact (and sometimes threat) that conflicting values, mores, and belief systems make to our personal lives and to our corporate culture. We are responsible to know what we believe, why we believe, and how we will stand on our beliefs.
But does standing for our beliefs give us valid reason to dismiss others as “those people”? To not learn from their experiences? To not look for value in their stories? Should identifying “those people” give us an excuse to use words of derision, inappropriate humor, or anger to sooth our discomfort or our irritation?
I must admit that I am guilty of treating others as “those people”. When a person’s choices, interests, struggles, or background differs enough from my own, (or is uncomfortably close to my own!), I find it convenient to brush aside their value and their story. I dismiss them as I judge them to be…
“those people”
But here is what I, what we, conveniently forget in making that judgement. We forget where we came from. We forget how offensive our choices have been. We forget the pain we have caused. We forget that although he had perfect reason, God did not dismiss or devalue us. We forget that we are…
those people
And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. (I Corinthians 6:11, NJV)
“Those people”. I am sure you remember when I started my job in Edgewater the person who called me “those people” when she found out I was a Christian… with much disdain in her tone! Never once did I “preach” to her, point out her faults, etc. I just continued to YES grit my teeth and bite my tongue and show her kindness. I am happy to say that she came around and we ended up being if not close friends, good co-workers and actually enjoyed working around each other before she retired. Just this past Sunday Jay and I ran into her at the grocery store and I can say we were honestly GLAD to see each other. Just keep showing “those people” Jesus love through you and though you may not win them for Christ you will at least have made them feel better about “those people”. Sorry, didn’t mean to get “preachy” on your website, just wanted to share.
Bonnie since you mention it, I do remember your experience with your co-worker. That is an excellent example. When she judged you as “those people”, your refusal to counter-label her as “those people” helped build a bridge between you.
How terrific to see the evidence of that still standing. Thanks for sharing.