(Sometimes my words feel risky to share, because of their personal tone. These are such words, written last summer.)
I am unsettled on this night. Despising the cries from my heart that I don’t want to hear. Perhaps I can escape its pleading for acknowledgement. I leave my house to walk.
The night is beautiful. Cool. The sky completely clear and bright with stars.
A bat dive-bombs me. Thankfully I am wearing a hoodie. Bat decides I am too big for his midnight breakfast, and moves on. So do I.
In the beauty of this night I sense an invitation to open my heart. My heart that so often feels dark with its wounds. But, I have been told, it is also a beautiful place. A beautiful wounded chamber that is now being invited to courageously open under the cover of darkness.
At first I do not recognize this invitation. This beckoning call of a lover. The Holy Lover, who has drawn me out into the starlit night.
To be with Him.
He tenderly opens this hidden chamber, under the protection of His night. He shows me the goodness of the longings concealed there. He brings His light to the darkness resulting from years of my own neglect and wrong choices. He gently touches the rawness created by wounds others have inflicted.
Embracing this good, painful, raw longing, I look up at the sky. The glory of the night reveals the endless depth of stars. Before I give voice to my thought that He, Jesus, is somewhere far beyond, He speaks;
“I am right here.“
And He is. And together with Him, on His beautiful night under the covering of His stars, we explore the treasures of this hidden chamber.
This heart of His own creation that He cherishes.
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